Another airplane!

That's been my story these last few months. Traveling was once something to be thought as glamorous, not anymore. Especially on coach!

Anyhow, I will be going to the Dominican to do heavy promo work for Jorge's latest CD and for Promissa (Priscilla's group). They are playing very well overseas and we need to take advantage of the momentum.

Most likely I will not be blogging from there. The network is very sluggish at my relatives (yeah, you got it, older generation) Shhhh. But, I'll be back in a week.

Love my children a lot while we are gone and pray for Rebecca who will be staying with them.

Don't get naked without me! I shall be back in time!

Naked...but how naked? Completely naked?

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is fix my "abundant" hair and put make up on. I get dressed nicely even to clean the house. Nothing stained, nothing torn, nothing wrinkled; it most be coordinated. Now, this is the routine even when Jorge is out of town or when I am not going to see anybody.

To some, I should get naked here. But you see, I don't think that is where my naked battle is. My naked battle is one step in front of a hypocritical smile I might display when I feel like crying. The battle is on when I declare one of God's promises on provision and I'm screaming inside how much I lack. It is complicated. You want to be honest, yet you don't want to sound whiny and needy. You want to be transparent, but you fear rejection when you are exposed.

It is easier to put on the mask and go on without owning any of your darkness and without exposing it to any light. It is much easier to build up walls of strength and courage with a few verses and move on. But does that really mend the broken pieces inside? Does it really make me prettier on the outside?

God, you see the real me. You see the broken pieces, the old wounds and the bleeding of the heart. You see me without. There is no place to hide. Please, God, help show my true colors and not blend in with the circumstances or pressures of the moment. I want to be the me You see. The one You created me to be!

Do you have a story to tell?

My daughter Sainad came very excited from HS camp. She was telling me all about it and that the last night was the best ever. She said that they were all crying. I asked her why. It was "say so" night where people would get up and share. Many of them, deep-hurting stories. I asked if she shared and she said no. So I asked why. She said something like when you hear what God has done in some people's lives and they have gone through you don't have anything to say about your life.

My first thought was "thank you God because so far you have protected my baby girl from having a big story to tell".

My second thought was "how great it is when God puts our little things in perspective seeing what others endure".

But, my last thought was that we do have an important story to tell. Maybe we don't have an eating disorder, or maybe we were not abused or healed from cancer. But God did save our lives from eternal darkness and dispair. He did change our sadness into dancing. And he has given us a reason to live, a purpose to fight for.

I do have a story to tell! Do you?

Have you ever gotten skinier by calling someone else fat?

Man, I wish you could because if it worked out that way I'd be "Latin Barbie."

But why is that? I mean, not that it doesn't work, but that we do that? We call other people stupid because that makes us feel smarter. We spoil other people's lives hoping to feel better, but our lives are unchanged.

Looking back I can see that anytime I see myself reflected in the mirror of somebody else's life and I don't like what I see, I attack. I get defensive. I feel insecure. Rather than facing the problem inside of me I tend to push it away into somebody else. It is only when I get "naked" and real when I realize the dark spots inside that need to be brought into the light.

My heart needs to be in constant check. This rotten human nature is constantly playing tricks on me. I thank God that he doesn't allow my name calling to make me better. It would be so unfair to so many!

This gives me an idea. Let's kill bad with good. Let's do lots a good name calling. I am sure it is going to boost me up.

Dear God, I commit to good name calling this week. Please give me lots of names to call.

Why Do I Blog?

Well, there are many reasons. It is in, so I must be trendy! It is part of my FRC lifestyle, so I must not be left out. I LOVE talking...so when I write Jorge doesn't have to listen as much.
But I think the most important reason lies behind something I heard in a movie once. While watching "Shall We Dance?" the wife of the main character (Beverly Clark) said:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

At my FRC community we DO LIFE TOGETHER so I know my life will not go unnoticed because my family will notice it. My life will not go un-witnessed because my friends will be my witnesses.

That, is why I blog.