Post Surgery Cheer

I went through a major surgery about 5 weeks ago. I thought I was prepared to face it until I woke up from the anesthesia. I realized I had to be resting for real. I depended on others to get my water, my sandals, help me dress,...

Even the smallest of things that we take for granted are big things at a time like this. How hot my tea, how sweet, how much water in the mug.

For somebody like me, so independent and auto-everything, it was a very humbling experience. To relinquish all power and be content and grateful all at the same time was surely a major surgery to my brain itself.

I am glad it is almost over. In a few days I will be ready to celebrate a great victory over illness and negative attitudes. Praise God for that!

Disappointments

Do we ever learn to live in/with disappointment? What is about it that hurts so much? And why do we fall for it again, and again, and again. Maybe we place expectations that are too high. Or maybe we shouldn't have an expectation at all.

Is it only the people we love who have the power to trigger that button? But other people do too. I am wondering if we have the right to be disappointed at those whom we've loved and invested on? Maybe not because we could look like we gave to receive.

Do I disappoint people around me the way I feel disappointed by some?

Dear God,
Help me be mindful about those around me, especially those who look up to me
I want to be a source of inspiration, never a disappointment
And God, help me be tolerant and to continue to trust in those whose words seem to have no worth. I want to love like you.

Disappointed again,
Me

Priorities

This past week a very important music conference took place in Miami. Jorge and I have attended this event for so many years that I can not remember exactly how many. This year, however, we decided to skip it.

Family time and commitments were far more important this time around. Also, I refused to take time off work.

What do you know? The one refusing to take a day off work did not think twice to take whatever time off when it came to be about her son.

Dan had to be admitted to the ICU with Kitoacidosis. Severe dehydration, protein in the urine, acids in the blood, high glucose in the blood, unstable heart, and on and on.

Thank God he is out of the ICU, but we are still here at the hospital. We might go home today and I am willing to take life without pay for my baby boy :)

No April Anymore

April came and went and I didn't realize it. I spent 12 days in Europe and when I came back, Jorge stayed there for another 2 weeks. Being a single parent is a tough job. My respect to all single parents. Dan is graduating in a couple of weeks and had singing competitions that he kept on winning, so he kept on competing. Then, Ragtime show rehearsals and performances. I attended all 4 nights. He did an awesome job.

Saini on the other hand, has been working very hard to make good grades at a school she hates. She too, had a few performances of her own.

Jorge came home for 4 very short days and took off to Italy. Yes, again. He is back now for a couple of weeks. And then, he will go back to Italy for another couple of weeks.

I am enjoying the moment while it lasts. Staying busy with prom, graduation, Danmoving out, visit from out of town, and everything in between.

My Baby and I

Undeniable Beauty

Today as I was on a bus from Madrid to Vigo I had the opportunity to enjoy a quiet ride in the presence of a majestic nature that was everything but silent. Tall mountains lit by the sun and cover in snow. Perfect valleys of green and purple. It was as if God was showing off his workmanship.

But there was something that caught my eye in a special way. As I contemplated the hard rocks and the walls of stone I could see small bursts of life. Small and bright flowers standing on their own. The source of their beauty did not come from the hard and dry environment they were at, but from deeper within.

God created us with that in mind. No matter what our location is, among dry people at work, among dysfunctional members of our family, jail, no matter where, we can reach within and find him to give us beauty impossible to be denied.

Can others see your beauty where you are at? I surely hope that when anyone will see me I might be projecting more than my own rubbish and nonsense. It is my prayer for you and for me that all may see the beautiful life of Christ when they see us.

Hearing Voices?

The world in which we live is a very busy one. It is never quiet or dormant. It is always communicating through media, people, cyberspace, in every possible way and language. What are you hearing? In the middle of so many voices telling us we need this, we need that. Voices dictating our values and principles of life. Many voices persuading us to move either left or right. Even voices so daring as to try and dictate our future. Voices who claim an outcome for us based on what we choose to believe or not.

I choose to hear the voice of truth. Like the song say, “the voice of truth tells me a different story. The story of yes I can, not because of a political inclination or leader, or church, but because I can do all things in Christ who is my strength. I choose to hear the voice that tells me “I have a plan for you and a future.”

Rain, rain, please don't go away!

It is rainning in South Florida today. I love the rain. I love its smell, I love its sound, I love how it feels. I love rainny days. They are worth taking a day off work, even though I didn't take one today.

I want to run around barefeet and just enjoy it. The rain reminds me I am free. I have been set free. So I do not care what others might think of me getting wet. I love the rain God created for my enjoyment.

The rain reminds me of the gift of love. Not only God loved me so much to give his son, he gave me Jorge to love me as well. And yes, I think of him when I close my eyes and smell the rain.

It reminds me of wonderful advetures of childhood; like scaping the house to run around the neighborhood with friends. Oh how I love the rain. Please, don't go away!

Childhood Memories

Who doesn't have memories from childhood? We all remember different times, different people, activities, foods, many things we did or wanted to have done.

My parents were very strict so I have tons of memories of things I wanted to do but, was never allowed to. I remember places I wished I could have gone to and now they don't even exist. But I realize it makes me happy to think of the best memories; the ones I was able to embrace and enjoy. It does well to my soul to think of the good times, to think of the "yes" times and the experiences I long to indulge in again.

Here is one of those awesome memories... eating Frio Frio (a Dominican shaved ice drink).

Well, Piragua in San Juan.

Better than Mofongo

I had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Puerto Rico. Aside from ministry, most of what I did was eat. I am not clear as to how many times I ate a form of plantain, including several Mofongos. man, Mofongo is good.

I ate it at a fancy, gold fork, restaurant in the Condado. It had a very nice twist. Then, I ate it in San Juan at a very, everyday, type of place. It was out of this world. It was so good I am still thinking about it, planning another visit on my next trip.

I would trade any dish, many desserts, a lot of things for another plate of that Mofongo. Now, this morning I had a little time with God and after a few minutes with Him, it felt so good that I forgot my whole weekend experience. It was so easy to come to the conclusion that God is so much better than Mofongo. And Mofongo is good!

My blender story

I was in the mood for a delicious smoothie. All the ingredients were in and I was ready to enjoy it. I kept turning the switch on but no luck. My blender would not work. I moved the cord, took the jar off and put it back on...nothing. Then I noticed the plug was off.

The blender was in perfect condition. Good engine, good cord. The recipe was perfect, fresh berries, ice, some peaches. Yet, no smoothie until we got some "power".

Knowing me, my daughter said: "you're gonna blog about that". Of course I would.

If we are not "plugged" we are like my blender. Powerless. Useless. What can we do with a great-working engine and all the right ingredients —charm, friendliness, eloquence, whatever they might be— if we are not plugged to our source?

Thank you Jesus for being there waiting, wishing, hoping, we stay connected!

Happy Birthday Brother!

You would have been 44 today.

You could have been with us, but you are not.

I miss the idea of you but, I won't blame you.

I am happy you are there, I surely will come too, hopefully not so soon.

There is one big truth in life, you either make Jesus your savior and go to heaven eternally, or you don't. I am so glad you were smart enough to make the best choice.

See you,

Your sister

Investing in People's Lives

It is funny how opinionated we can be when it comes to judging other's abilities to fullfil their calling or reach their highest potential in life. We can see from the outside what to us seems like the problem or stumbling block.
What a difference it makes when we take the same sight or scenario and instead of finding the fault we make a deposit, an investment.
I am greatful for people who have seen potential in me to do this or that and have decided to invest a seed of love, intelligence, material good, or anything that I have been able to use to become a more useful person.
I am wondering who is needing a deposit from me today. Do you know anyone who could benefit from your generosity in any way?

Fireproof


Of course I watched the movie! I went to the theaters when it came out and we pre-order it to support it. Now we are telling all our friends about it. It made us cry. And then I have been thinking....

Is your marriage fireproof? I dare say mine is. Because of me? Nope. Because of Jorge? Definetely not. If it depended on us, our marriage might not even be in existance today. I am not sure. 20 years is a long time. There are so many flaws in both of us. Gosh, we could be so complex at times. I am not sure we could have survived each other if it weren't for God's mercy. His grace, his guidance, his strength. He has been the best ally to our relationship. We are even happy! People can't believe we are so in love. But yes, we are. And the best part of it is that we don't have to fear it will change, because it does not depend on us. Yes, we have to work at it and want to do well, but God takes care of the rest.


Thank you God for giving me something that is real, actually, someone who is real. Thank you because he made a promise to you that he'd be by me til we die and he is even happy about it.

Who is that?

A few years ago, after going through a series of difficulties I put on some weight. I mean "some" weight. The thing is that you normally go up and down 5-10 pounds and that is kind of normal. You keep on watching what you eat, adjust your amount of junk intake, and listo! But this one time I wasn't being aware of it. I kept on growing and growing until I saw a picture. My gosh "who is that?" I asked myself. I couldn't believe I was "that thing" on the picture. Not that being big makes you a thing, but that is how I felt. I knew better. My health was spiraling downward and now my self-steem was tempted to follow.
I had a choice to make. Not an easy one. It was a decision I had to make for myself. I did. And I am happy. Hey, I am not Cindy Crawford, not even Queen Latifah, but I am happy.
It is good to look at the reflection in the mirror or in a picture. What would we see if we took a peek today? I hope and pray that whatever it is you see, will empower you with courage to change whatever needs changing, and encouragement to continue to groom that beauty God has put in you!

Be loved and accepted today!

The thief

Did you ever wake up as a child, in the middle of the night, thinking someone broke into the house and was headed to your room?
I remember hearing the steps. Slow and steady steps. And even though I was covered under the blanket head to toe, my eyes couldn't close any harder. I could hear my heart pounding wanting to leave my chest. But then I can't remember anymore. I am not sure if I would fall back sleep or what...
Thinking about it reminds me that at times, very much like in childhood, we panic at some "thief" we hear coming. The steps sound very real but at the end... what happens at the end? Many times there is only the threat or the illusion.
I am sure of one thing. If that "thief" is ever real, I know someone who is watching over me to protect me, to defend me, and to rescue me. He never fails.

No thank you!

I am the kind of person who does not like to say no. Even though I am not a "pleaser" I like to work things out with others so that with a little compromise from here and there we might all be happy.
Now, when it comes to authority figures, it is a little bit more difficult. Telling a teacher "you are wrong" is not so easy. Or telling your boss. Or maybe a doctor.

Well, I am very proud of myself and I'll tell you why. This lady doctor we got for my daughter was a bit eccentric for my taste. There was something about her I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My daughter didn't like her at all. So I decided to make a minor,nice, careful, little comment about it to the doctor. Not only was she very defensive but, rude. You know what?! I decided to cancel the appointment and chose a new doctor.

No thank you!

Is there anyone in your life making you feel uncomfortable the wrong way? Who do you need to get rid of?

All About Me!

The other day, someone decided to make the entire day all about me. At first, I had mixed feelings. Honestly, I was wondering what was behind all the shower of attention (I know, bad girl!). Anyway, I tried paying some favors and attention back, just to get the same attitude and answers: "it's all about you".

A few hours into the day I had forgotten already that I was the center of the universe and was surprised, once again, with a very intentional gesture of "you are the most important thing in the world". Oh boy!!!!!!! I began to get into it. I made good choices. I had a field day :)

When the day was about to be over, I was not ready to abandon the priceless role of princess. And so I went to sleep with the tiara in my heart. I DID feel special, beautiful, exquisite, and much more. The one person who matters most to me thought I was all that and made it a point to show me how he felt. I can close my eyes and experience it all over again.

Thank you Jorge! I dare you, let's make it all about you next.

And you my friend, who can you make it all about?

My most sincere apologies!

I have been away from the blogging scene, relapsing into the old fashion journaling way. But I understand some of my faithful readers have been unhappy about my silence. After a few months off and half way through with technological difficulties, I am back.

Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me.


Besos